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How to build self-esteem in children?

Discover how to improve self-esteem in children so that they have confidence in themselves and turn into fulfilled adults!


In order to be able to grow up in the best conditions and become a comfortable adult, a child needs to be aware of his own value and to love himself as he is. Learning to accept themselves, interacting calmly with their environment, not being dependent on the gaze of others, believing in their abilities are all factors that allow your child to build their self-esteem. As a parent, you play a crucial role in the development of your offspring's self-esteem. So, how to improve self-esteem in children? We tell you everything!

How can you help your child build their self-esteem?

Improving your child's self-esteem, so that he accepts and loves himself as he is, depends heavily on you. Thus, it is important to adopt the right reflexes and behaviors on a daily basis.

Value your actions in order to focus on the positive

Whether they end in success or failure, you must be sure to emphasize the positive in your child's actions. For example, if he breaks a plate while helping you set the table, thank him by emphasizing that you are glad he made the effort. Then, explain to him how he can remedy his little stupidity.

Listen and make time for your child

The time you spend with your daughter or son shows how much he or she is worth to you. But be careful, it's about having quality time without distraction! Exit the tablet that we slip between his hands to be quiet. Indeed, it is essential to pay attention to him or her, to listen to what he or she has to say to you, and to share moments when you really interact together.

Protect it without overdoing it

Your goal: to avoid overprotectiveness that makes your child think that he is not able to fend for himself, and that lowers his self-esteem. It is also an attitude that sends back an image of a dangerous world that it is better not to explore (too much). In order not to fall into overprotection, you can start with this very simple trick, which consists of replacing “You will” by “You risk of”.


Show love and affection to your child

In order to improve your child's self-esteem so that he feels more confident, don't forget to show him how much you love him. This requires actions, but also words. It is important that he feels loved for who he is, with his qualities, his faults and his differences. From an early age, children are receptive to this feeling of love. It helps them build their self-esteem and accept themselves as they are.

Good parental behavior helps to improve children's self-esteem

We know it well: toddlers reproduce the behavior of their parents. You are therefore a model that your child will follow and imitate. This is why it is essential to reflect a positive image on a daily basis, with particular attention to your words and your actions.

The role of mirror neurons in child development

This mimicry of children finds its origin in the mirror neurons which are activated essentially by the visual function. When a person performs an action, the neurons corresponding to this gesture are activated in the child's brain. As he observes, your child sculpts his neural pathways and automatisms are created.

The importance of parental example

Cultivating and strengthening your self-esteem is essential to improving that of your offspring. If you have a constant feeling of inferiority or a fear of the gaze of others, then your child will be more inclined to reproduce these tendencies. It is therefore essential not to lower yourself in front of him, but on the contrary to value yourself and to show resilience in the face of everyday worries!

Choosing a children's book on self-esteem: our small selection

Because reading can be an original and effective way to boost your child's self-esteem , we share a few nuggets with you:


  • "Sam & Watson have confidence" by Ghislaine Dulier is a series of books that helps the little ones overcome their fears and gain self-confidence to live more peacefully.
  • “The King of Kindergarten” by Derrick Barnes is perfect for facing back to school, but also life in general, with confidence and with a smile!

  • “Cloud does not feel up to it” by Sylvie Sarzaud is a little therapeutic tale about a falcon who constantly compared himself to others and who finally surprised everyone.
  • "You're really great" by Lucile Ahrweiller is a book-book to personalize in order to highlight the most beautiful qualities of your child.

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