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Lack of self-esteem: the signs that should alert teenagers

Do you feel that your teenager suffers from a lack of self-esteem? Discover the symptoms that should alert you.

What if your teenager suffered from a lack of self-esteem? In adolescence, the young brain is still developing. This is without counting on the hormonal change, which brings its share of contradictory emotions. This delicate period can undermine your child's self-esteem and self-confidence. As a parent, your role is crucial in detecting this lack of self-esteem and helping your teenager to love himself as he is. Here are 6 signs that should call out to you.

Lack of self-esteem and symptoms: the case of teenagers

Teenagers go through a period synonymous with both physical and psychological changes. It is important to know how to detect the warning signs of a lack of self-esteem in order to prevent them from getting worse.

Tendency to isolate

A teenager who often stays locked in his room or spends a lot of time in front of screens may suffer from a lack of self-esteem. This need to withdraw into oneself and to avoid social relations can be explained by a fear of facing the gaze of others and of not being up to it.

Low motivation

A person with high self-esteem will be more likely to try new activities or work hard to achieve their goals. On the contrary, a teenager who lacks self-esteem will tend to feel a certain apathy. The slightest demand for effort will become an impassable mountain for him.

Difficulty asserting oneself and saying no

It is often the fear of being judged, even of being rejected, that prevents your teenager from asserting himself. However, knowing how to say no and expressing yourself in accordance with your thoughts is crucial for developing good self-esteem. A teenager who does not express his desires will tend to submit to the decisions of others.

Fear of the eyes of others

A teenager who lacks self-esteem may be afraid of the opinion that his peers have of him. This feeling echoes the strong need to belong in adolescence: we want to feel accepted, to please others. This feeling will tend to reinforce his fear of asserting himself so as not to be judged.

Tendency to compare

Comparing yourself to others is not always negative. However, it can become so if your teenager makes you understand that he does not feel up to it, neither mentally nor physically in front of other people his age. Behind this feeling of inferiority hides a lack of self-esteem.

fear of disappointing

A teenager who has low self-esteem will tend to constantly seek the approval of others in order to feel good. He will want to please his parents and his friends. This fear of not being up to par translates into exacerbated perfectionism and a fear of failure.

Lack of self-esteem: what consequences?

When adolescent self-esteem is not detected in time, it can worsen and have serious consequences. It can also cause automatisms in the long term and thus affect his adult life.

More specifically, a teenager with low self-esteem will be more likely to develop relationship problems, to be influenced by others and to exhibit self-sabotaging behaviors. This vulnerability can itself lead to difficulties at school, a greater risk of depression, or eating disorders.

How to improve your teenager's self-esteem?

As a parent, you are your child's primary support. Here are some tips to help him love and accept himself:

  • listen and reassure him;
  • favor efforts rather than results;
  • use positive and empowering language;
  • trust him and encourage his independence;
  • help him understand his “mistakes” and find a way to deal with them differently;
  • show him (and the rest of your family) that you love him unconditionally.


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